Recently, I’ve been thinking about some stuff which I’ve been thinking why I haven’t thought of it earlier? After struggling through various vector-based algorithms in game programming, I realised that I’m okay with coding, just that when there is some form of math involved, it kind of turns me off. And then I thought that maybe I should be studying in a creative school, or studying film somewhere overseas, and why did I torture myself in NUS? Why didn’t I just stick with NTU? Or why didn’t I make an effort to apply to some overseas university earlier in JC? What if I am somewhere else now instead of studying a science-based degree? Perhaps I will excel better? I like to study something else other than computing that I’m actually taking 3 arts module now. Am I not maximising myself? Would I be happier elsewhere? And it doesn’t seem to be fulfilling the purpose and destiny that God called me to – to use film and media for His Kingdom.
And then, last last Sunday, pastor preached a sermon about hope, a confident and joyful expectation of good. One of the things he mentioned was that, don’t dance in the “what if” or “if only”: God say NOW, today is the day of salvation (2 Cor 6:2). Why am I thinking so much? I’m not satisfied, and I don’t seem to be doing anything about it. But God says to hope in the future, He has seen it, and it is so bright and good. That’s the only thing I can trust in.
Reminded me of another teaching about being at the right place at the right time:
The race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, nor bread to the wise, nor riches to men of understanding, nor favor to men of skill; but time and chance happen to them all. – Ecclesiastes 9:11
Happen (קָרָה: qarah) means to bring about, to send good speed. God certainly can bring me to the right place and and the right time, and I trust that he has the best of my interests in His heart, and my next 7 years will be AWESOME. (Come to think of it, 7 years is a long time.) I’m still trying to believe and #walkasif I already have it. And they say God will not put you in some place which you do not need Him.
If God has not brought me to the right place at the right time, then I would not be in NUS, I would not be in church, I would not know the friends that I know that I have now, and I would not have such friends in my facebook now, and come to think of it, I would not have such a hope that I have now.
Serving in ministry has been awesome, learning how to program the light console is really like a dream come true. I always wanted to play with gobos and effects, and now finally I have the chance to do it, instead of just playing with a slideshow on a projector! And I like how I can apply my theatre and film knowledge in this area. And I just did my first interview video, it was really fun and exciting. Can’t wait to work on more projects with other exciting beloved people!
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On a side note, sometimes we may be actually focusing too much on ourselves without us realising it, and sometimes, in sermons, too. “Believe that I have receive, walking as if I already have”, seems very self-centered. What is more important, I think, is that, we walk, not for ourselves, but for Him.