Category: Mum

My home used to be livelier, with more people watching TV, more people walking around in the house.
My home used to be livelier, with Chinese New Year and Christmas decorations and the like all year round.
My home used to be livelier, with my mum and my dad cleaning the house together, vacuuming and mopping in tandem, keeping the house spick and span.
My home used to be livelier, with smells coming from the kitchen, chinese radio playing the background.
My home used to be livelier, with my mum shouting from the kitchen into my room when dinner’s ready, reminding me not to stare at the computer for too long.
My home used to be livelier, with my mum ironing the clothes, my dad washing the dishes, and my brother playing the guitar in his room.
My home used to be livelier, when my relatives came over to my house and have celebrations and gatherings.
My home used to be livelier, with my mum and dad asking about my life, caring about my brother and I, covering my blanket when the aircon’s cold.

My dad used to be smiling, younger and more cheerful,
My brother used to be home more often,
My mum cooking at home during her off days,
and my home used to be livelier.

Now my home is not as lively anymore.

You chased me
I caught you
So glad we found each other
We whispered forever
To share our lives together
To watch our dreams unfold

[Chorus]
And I love everything about you
Everything you are
You’d catch a falling star if I asked you
And I couldn’t live a single day without you
You hold me in your arms
And once again, I know
That I’m the only one for you

The way you laugh, the way we dance
The way you hold my hand
The way you give, the way you kiss
The way you look at me
You make life beautiful

[Chorus]

Oh, I love the light that shines in your eyes
When you talk about our girls
And love the way you smile when they walk into a room
Oh, I love how you care about brokenness
How injustice moves your heart enough
To make a change
You give all you are everyday

[Chorus]

I love everything about you
You hold me in your arms
and once again I know
that I’m the only one for you

The only one for you
The love of my life
So glad I found you…

This is a beautiful love song written by Darlene Zschech, it was originally written as a love song for her husband, but I guess some of the words apply to any of our loved ones.

I was listening to it on the bus on the way to work, and I thought about my mum, everything she was, the way she hold me in her arms, the way she gave, and the way she look at me, and tears came forming in my eyes. I miss you, mum.

Last night I dreamt of my mum, kind of a out-of-this-world dream…I went through like a ‘portal’ to another ‘dimension’, a place which looks like my house, and then there were other people sitting around talking. Then after that mummy came and embraced me, and my dad and my mum and I hugged each other. 😐

I missed how my mum wipes my sweat off while eating dinner, and taking care of me even after I sleep.

The last dinner my mum had with us was also the last dinner my mum cooked for us…my dad, my brother, myself and my brother’s girlfriend. Although now I couldn’t really remember what she cooked, I knew that it was one of the few family dinners we had in a long time. It’s really fortunate that we managed to have one on that saturday, on the day before the incident happened the next morning…

The last wonderful dish which my mum cooked was the rendang curry which she tried a new recipe-in-a-packet thingy from the supermarket. it was two weeks ago I think.

The last breakfast I had with my mum at the coffeeshop was…oh no I can’t remember when was that.

One of the last things my mum asked me to do was to check with my officer whether I could take leave on the last week of november to go shanghai for a holiday…and I never managed to get back to her on that…

One of the last things that I wanted to tell my mum was that one of my airforce friends who came our house on friday afternoon commented that the house is very well kept dust-free and clean…

One of the last words which I spoke to my mum the night before, I think, was, ‘ya-lah ya-lah’…

One of the last words which my mum said was, “very pain lah….call the ambulance….”

Now everything seemed like a daze, like a dream, so surreal. Like she has went to work forever and never coming back.

I regret that I’ve taken my mum for granted, so much so that sometimes I do not feel her absence strange.

I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. – John 10:9

Dear Mummy,

Thank you for being the mum that we always take for granted for. Every time without fail, even after a tired day at work, you help us wash our clothes, clean the house, cook our meals and iron our uniforms. Sorry for not being able to appreciate you enough and for not loving you enough. Words can never fully describe how much I love you and appreciate your sacrifice for our home.

Forgive me for not spending enough time with you, and not paying attention to you sometimes. I will always remember the good times spent with you, such as when we go to coffeeshop for breakfast, when we go on family tours overseas, and when we celebrate our birthdays at different restaurants.

I also remember that 5 years ago, I wrote a letter to you, saying, “I’m sharing you God’s love, because I love you too, and because I love you, I want to spend my life with you forever.”

I wish to let you know that I really appreciate all that you have done for us and that now, you can rest peacefully in heaven. I pray that you will know Jesus, and I eagerly wait for the day when I meet you in heaven again.

亲爱的妈妈，

谢谢你。每天，工作之后, 您帮助我们洗衣, 打扫房子, 烹饭和烙我们的衣服。很抱歉我没花很多时间来爱您。我说什么也不能形容我多莫爱你。

我会记得我们早上一起到咖啡店吃早餐的时刻，我们到国外游览的时刻，和我们庆祝生日的时刻。

我希望你能安心地在天堂。我会等那一天能在天堂遇见你。

Your beloved son,
Colin

hmm today’s the third day of the holidays…monday I was packing my stuff and filing papers, tuesday went to school to do some video stuff, today was an interesting day

morning I went marketing with my mum (who else still goes marketing with mum at 18 years old? well, I do), and I decided to try out mr young’s brownies recipe from the jotterbook today, so off we went and buy the baking ingredients, from a speciality provision shop, Phoon Huat, though can’t find the “sweet ground cocoa”, hence we just bought normal cocoa powder.

after coming home, after helping my mum to vacuum the house (who else helps in household chores? well, I do,…but not really that often…lazy colin…), and when my mum was free in the afternoon, we decided to start baking brownies. It was quite interesting, first time for both of us, hence we were quite clueless if the things we doing according to the recipe’s steps were correct. nevertheless, I continued and stirred the interesting mixture which soon turned into dark brown chocolate, and adding some chips and walnuts, it really look like chocolate. it tasted sweet. after pouring the mixture into a pan, we baked it in the oven for about 25 minutes. The whole process took about an hour including preparation.

Ah, it’s done, the whole kitchen and house is filled with the smell of chocolate! lol. it was very cool. dark brown hot cake in the pan…one bite…wow very nice. haha. usual brownies taste, very sweet, (my mum didn’t like cos it’s TOO sweet for her), but nevertheless it was good! hahaha…yay success! next time I shall try doing it again….

after that, we decicded to visit the polyclinic cos there’s some minor fungal infection on my feet which refuses to go off after so long, after 2 previous visits to the doctor. the doctor gave anti-septic wash and anti-fungal cream.

I then went swimming which was just opposite the polyclinic. I realised that I haven’t swam for a LONG time, the stamina I had last time was gone. I hope to try exercising regularly this holidays…including running and other stuff to train for my napfa…

PC Show tomorrow…

When I was young, you took care of me.
When I had difficulties, you helped me through.
If I fall, you picked me up.
For you love me as your son.

When I grew, you see me maturing.
As I grow older, you thought I forgot about you.
But I say to you: Yet with friends elsewhere, they can never replace you.
For you surround me with your motherly love.

You thought that you did not teach me well,
Hence you regret that you did not spend enough time with me.
But I tell you: you’ve been wonderful
And over the years I’ve learnt alot.

And so, do not regret, for I did not turn bad.
I’m still your son, and I still remember you.
And what is past is history,
Let’s live for the future.

But you’re still afraid that I’ll part you,
But I say to you: you’re still my mum and I love you.
And so this Mothers’ Day, I write this
To express my love for you.

P.S.
And if you fear that you’d still part with me
I say to you: Life together forever can be found in Jesus’ eyes.

—-

my mum seem to regret that she didn’t raise me up well enough….hmm….and she believes Jesus die for the Romans people of the past, not us….